IOWA CITY — A cheese covered shirt and a trail of snacks implicated an Iowa City man in a Friday night burglary. Iowa City police were called to the Creekside Market, 2601 Highway 6 E., around 11:20 p.m. Friday for a report of a burglary. Responding officers discovered 20-year-old Francisco J. Munoz about 100 yards from the convenience store carrying two cases of Corona beer. Police said Munoz’ shirt was covered in nacho cheese and there was a trail of snack foods and lottery tickets between him and the store. Munoz had bloodshot, watery eyes and showed other signs of intoxication, police said. A post-arrest breath test showed Munoz had a blood alcohol content of .270 percent. Munoz used a brick to smash the entry door of the convenience store, causing $1,000 in damage. He was arrested and faces charges of third-degree burglary, second-degree criminal mischief and public intoxication.
Come on man! Think it through. Only steal items that aren’t gong to Hansel and Gretel the cops to your exact location. Yes, nachos are delicious. It’s basically just shoveling spoonfuls of melted cheese into your mouth by way of salty chips. You don’t have to sell me on nachos, I’m already their biggest fan. Nachos are one of those things I don’t think about often, but when I do, it’s all I think bout. But when robbing a gas station? No. Just no. They’re messy and take forever to put together. And you clearly run the risk of leaving a trail of cheesy goodness behind and right to your location. They’re not worth it. You gotta only steal things that you can grab. Like beef jerky. That’s the #1 item you steal when robbing a gas station. Take all of the beef jerky in sight. It’s a goddamn racket that they charge $10 for a few strips of jerky anyway. It’s madness. They’ve got it coming to them. Not to mention it’s easy to grab and the cops won’t be able to follow a trail of it. Win-win. Better luck next time, Francisco.
PS- As a guy who goes to the gas station at least once a day for snacks, shame on this guy. We must treat gas stations with the utmost respect. Sure, sometimes drunks urinate in the aisles and degenerates take forever to cash out all of their lottery tickets but that’s part of the charm. Gas stations are hands-down some of the greatest places on God’s green earth.