Dude Kicked Out Of World Naked Bike Ride For Getting A Boner
Independent – A cyclist has been removed from a nude bicycle race after he became aroused by the sight of his fellow participants. The man became aroused when his fellow cyclists de-robed at the starting line of the World Naked Bike Ride in Kent this weekend. Speaking to The Cambridge News, a witness said: “I heard gasps and I turned around – it was a horrible sight.” “It’s fair to say he was overexcited and got aroused. It looked like he was enjoying the event a bit too much. “One of the organisers went over to him and told him to put his trousers on while speaking on a walkie-talkie to police. “The man looked sheepish when he was spoken to by the police,” the witness said. The man put his trousers on before being escorted away by officers. The nude cycle was organised to raise awareness of the dangers posed to cyclists by motorists. Race organisers made a statement regarding the events on the World Naked Bike Ride Facebook page: “We do not accept this behaviour and he was dealt with and removed before the ride started.” Organisers sent out a warning prior to the race. “The police have confirmed they WILL act on ANY inappropriate behaviour and we, the organisers will support that. “If you are coming just to be a pain in the neck and to be the one to end this WNBR we’d rather you stayed at home.”
Well this seems a little unfair. And by a “little unfair” I mean the most unfair fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. You’re going to organize an event with tons and tons of naked people and get mad when someone gets a boner? Thats the cost of doing business, baby. You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. If you expect zero boners at a gigantic nude event you must not understand how human nature works. Sometimes dicks just get hard, folks. It can happen when you’re sitting in math class. It can happen when you’re sitting in church. You can be at your grandma’s funeral and your dick might fill up with blood. Its just physiology. And so if you are prepared for at least a couple Hard Dicks at a huge nude party, I dont know what to tell you. I mean there are basic cause and effect rules in this world and one of them is that guys get boners around naked girls. If you’re gonna punish that behavior then you must hate human life. Because without naked-chick-induced-boners guess what? We’re all fucking dead. Humankind comes to an end.
What I really want to know is was this guy really planning on riding his bike with a boner? That sounds like the most awkward thing of all time. Like peeing with a boner but even worse. Imagine just peddling along with your boner pointing up at you? I feel like I’ve done almost everything in this world but I dont think I’ve ever ridden a bike with an erection. And if I did, I just tucked it up into the waistband as always. But if you’re naked thats obviously not an option. Your balls on the leather seat and the tip of your dick up in your belly button just cruising along. I feel like thats just not an option. Show up to the naked bike race and get a hard on, you gotta bow out. Like “I’ll catch up with you guys at the half way point! I got a hard dick I gotta deal with!”