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NASA Is Launching It's New $23 Million Dollar Toilet Into Space. A Toilet So Perfect Even Women Can Use It Comfortably Now

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — NASA’s first new space potty in decades — a $23 million titanium toilet better suited for women — is getting a not-so-dry run at the International Space Station before eventually flying to the moon.

The old toilets cater more toward men. To better accommodate women, NASA tilted the seat on the new toilet and made it taller. The new shape should help astronauts position themselves better for No. 2, said Johnson Space Center’s Melissa McKinley, the project manager.

“Cleaning up a mess is a big deal. We don’t want any misses or escapes,” she said.

Let’s just say everything floats in weightlessness.

As for No. 1, the funnels also have been redesigned. Women can use the elongated and scooped-out funnels to urinate while sitting on the commode to poop at the same time, McKinley said. Until now, it’s been one or the other for female astronauts, she noted.

Like earlier space commodes, air suction, rather than water and gravity, removes the waste. Urine collected by the new toilet will be routed into NASA’s long-standing recycling system to produce water for drinking and cooking. Titanium and other tough alloys were chosen for the new toilet to withstand all the acid in the urine pretreatment.

Imagine the pressure of engineering a toilet worth $23 Million dollars. That has to be the greatest toilet of all time. Even better than the solid gold toilets I imagine Bezos and Saudi Princes to use. I can just picture the engineer showing his design to his bosses for the first time. 

Engineer: "This toilet has everything, guys. Titanium alloy. High pressure hoses. A water recycling and cleaning system. Suction to make sure zero particulates or droplets leave the bowl. I've thought of everything"

NASA boss: "Can women use it?"

Engineer: 

And back to the drawing board. 

I am not going to lie…I never knew that certain toilet shapes were better for women. That might be the ultimate male privilege. We can just whip our dicks and pee wherever we want. Even in space. Never have to think about "where" we have to pee. We have a hard enough time even remembering to put the seat back down and making sure the pee goes into the toilet bowl. That's the extent of our bathroom troubles.  Even if an astronaut is peeing in space and some of the droplets start floating around the bathroom in zero gravity that's not a huge deal or even that different. Just a little more intense splash back than you might get at a urinal. Free and easy. The person who designed a toilet so good that even woman can use it must be the cock of the space walk. You just opened up space to everyone. You have your female coworker come back from a test run and it's this

Can't put a price on a good shit. $23M well worth it for everyone to poop in space with comfort.