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Cincinnati Is Begging Bo Jackson For Forgiveness And To Reverse His Curse Because It Continues To Be The Most Lovable Loser City In The World

I want to make a few things clear here. Yes, I live in Cincinnati. No, I'm not from Cincinnati. I moved here after I graduated college and the city is actually fun (super cheap), I'm incredibly lazy to move again and I don't want to make new friends. I'm content with the assholes that I hang out with. I want to get in front of that before I talk about this city that I've lived in for over 10 years now. 

It's a city full of losers. It's not their fault - as you see in the tweets above. It's all about the Bo Jackson curse. But being losers is what makes Cincinnati so lovable. It's one of those cities that just can't win. It's like Cleveland, Detroit (spare me the Red Wings talk, you think 0-16 and Malice at the Palace first), Sacramento, etc. There are just some cities that will never be winning cities. It's part of the charm. I don't want Cincinnati to ever win because it would feel, well, wrong. They need to continue to lose in heartbreaking fashion and then go about drinking a shit ton of beer. 

Now what is the Bo Jackson curse? 

This was a career-ending injury that happened thanks to a Bengals tackle. Since then? The Bengals haven't won ONE single playoff game. Th Reds? Well, they got the 1995 NLDS. But haven't won a playoff series since then. In fact they have been no-hit, they just scored 0 runs in roughly 142 innings during 2 games of postseason baseball. Their stud pitcher was scared by the Pirates fans simply chanting his name in a wild card game. Hell, you can even look at college. Kenyon Martin suffered a devastating injury the one time Cincinnati had a chance to make a Final Four since then. Shit, a couple years ago Cincinnati blew a 20+ lead in the second half against Nevada and then Xavier choked as a 1 seed against Florida State.

Simply put, this city is full of losers and it's perfect that way. I don't ever want to see this city win and if they do, well, that's my sign to officially get my shit together and move. They are the lovable losers. That's not the Cubs. It's this mid-size city, that's criminally underrated in terms of a good time. But man do they stink at sports. See everyone at MLT's.