Ireland's Supreme Court Has Ruled Subway's Bread Is Too Sugary To Legally Qualify As Bread

NY Post - Ireland’s highest court isn’t sweet on tax breaks for footlongs.

The country’s Supreme Court ruled that the starch used in Subway sandwiches is too sugary to meet the definition of “bread” — a legal distinction that would have saved the firm some dough.

In deciding whether to give the fast-food chain a tax break for serving a “staple” food item, the five-judge panel ruled that the bread’s sugar-to-flour content is roughly five times too high to qualify, according to the Irish Independent.

For a company to be taxed zero percent, under the Value-Added Tax Act of 1972, the weight of sugar and fat in a bread product must not be more than 2 percent of the total weight of flour in the dough.

But the dough baked for Subway sandwiches has a sugar content of roughly 10 percent the weight of its flour content, the outlet reported.

I think one of the never ending debates on the internet is if Subway Sandwiches smells good, or smells bad. Nobody is ever in the middle. You either love that patented Subway smell, or you despise it. I could not imagine living above a Subway in NYC, nor even on the same block. That smell is POTENT. It lives in the fibers of your clothes for months. No amount of wash and fold detergent can get that Honey Oat stench out of your corduroys. 

But you know what, I'm on the side of fucking loving that smell. It smells like America. Just knowing that stench is a creation of chemicals and mass-produced yeast, and apparently a dump truck load of sugar. Yum. It doesn't get much better than that.

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Subway was actually my first job. I was 15 years old. And guess what? It was an awesome job. There's nothing more to it than what meets the eye (or MEATS the eye, amiright?!). People come in, they tell you what they want, you make their sandwich, and that's that. Every so often I had to slice tomatoes with the tomato slicer, but that was easy too. I kinda enjoyed seeing what creations people would come up with. Some were fucking gross though. Meatball with oil and vinegar, black olives, and deli mustard. The fake seafood with pickles and extra mayo, toasted. People are savages when it comes to their orders. But I never questioned them. You want me to put ketchup and ranch on your tuna? More power to ya, my man, that's none of my business.

The best was when people wanted "the meat and cheese on the top, the toppings on the bottom". Those were my favorites. I vividly remember one time the person told me to throw it away and start over and I was like "you know you can just turn it over and that's the same thing" and they absolutely were not having it. It's hysterical, but it wasn't an isolated event. People would request things on either the top or bottom of the bread, completely unaware it was up to them to hold the sub whichever way they wanted. Good times, good times.

But what is all this about? Oh, so now Ireland's Supreme Court has decided there is far too much sugar in the bread to even be considered bread. Amazing. Isn't that similar to how McDonald's can't say "ice cream" because there's no cream in it? Or is that an old wive's tale? Regardless, both are delicious. It's also likely how they keep people coming back. You just throw additives in it. People love sugar. If you ever want to have your mind blown and feel gross inside, watch one of those documentaries about how bad sugar is for you and how much we consume. Also I highly recommend at least attempting to cut added sugars out of your diet for as long as you can. It's incredible how terrible you'll feel at first if you are a loyal sugar consumer. And I know this is a little off track, but I love BBQ sauce, and I'm always astonished how much sugar is in 1 tiny serving size of BBQ sauce. It's something like 20% of your daily value worth of sugar. Very frustrating! 

I feel like Subway has sorta fallen off recently. People are over it. The weird turkey and ham…the worst tasting steak ever…there's just so many better options. That bread though. That bread bangs. Too bad nothing else there does.