I’m not trying to overreact or anything but the Marlins are fucking toast. I’m sorry they have to be in Wrigley. I’m sorry they have to feel the pain of Anthony Rizzo. I’m sorry to have to go through the trials and tribulations of competing in 58°F when they’d much rather be on the beaches, playing with some decent hookers tits doing cocaine off somebody’s ass fuck around like a bunch of goddamn idiots.
This is Chicago. Here we compete. Here we win championships. Here we have forgotten all the misery that existed before 2015 and have completely turned into the preeminent force of the national league. Let’s go win a fucking baseball game