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All The Things Cousins Mike and Murray Didn’t Get To This Morning on SiriusXM85

So today was my first day hosting The Cousins on SiriusXM85. Yes, your favorite septuagenarians (dudes in their 70s) are back five days a week at 9:00 a.m. EDT Monday through Friday. There’s been a change to the order of things:

I’ll be hosting Mondays and Fridays and Smitty and Trent will be trading off weeks on Tuesdays through Thursdays. Everyone’s looking forward to it, especially the Cousins Mike and Murray.

What I did NOT expect was the steady stream of emails and links the boys bombard you with. Cousin Riggs turned these emails into tons of fodder on the radio; I’m going to do you a solid and turn this into content for you.

Yes, every Monday and Friday, I’ll post all the links that Cousin Mike and Cousin Murray sent my way that we did not have time to talk about on the radio.

WORCESTER MAN DRIVES STOLEN TRUCK INTO POLICE STATION

A running joke of Cousin Mike is that he constantly sends Boston Globe stories behind paywalls. This one features a Worcester man named Lou Diamond who hijacked a delivery truck and ran it into a police station. Classic Cousin Mike story.

JOE MONTANA STOPS KIDNAPPING OF GRANDDAUGHTER

We actually did talk about this (Mike discussed an O. Henry story about child kidnapping, which prompted me to ask why he has his brain filled with kidnapping stories -- see clip below). Joe Montana foiled a woman trying to steal his 9 month old granddaughter. Scary stuff. Mike isn’t buying it though. 

DOOBIE BROS. ANGRY BILL MURRAY USING SONG TO SELL GOLF SHIRTS

Apparently, the Doobie Brothers aren't happy that Bill Murray is using their song to sell 'ugly' golf shirts. Murray is using "Listen to the Music" in commercials for the company's "Zero Hucks Given" golf shirts.

NETANYAHU USES WHITE HOUSE LAUNDRY SERVICE

]Another Cousin Mike special. The Israeli PM “flies in suitcases of clothes to take advantage of free cleaning service' on official visits. Netanyahu takes advantage of a free laundry service available to all foreign leaders, US officials say.” SHOCKED we didn’t talk about this on radio today.

PET OWNERS WOULD GIVE UP DOG FOR MONTH INSTEAD OF PHONE

A new survey says that 40 percent of pet owners admitted that they would give up their dog for a month, rather than ditch their smartphone. This was covered on Barstool Chicago radio, so I’m happy we didn’t get to it.

ILLINOIS MAN SAVED NIXON SANDWICH 60 YEARS

This one I’m sad about. The story revolved around some weirdo who stashed an unfinished sandwich from Richard Nixon and then milked it for SIX DECADES. BTW it was a Buffalo BBQ Chicken Sandwich. Dude wrote a book about it. This is a Murray special for sure. 

BLOOMBERG PAID FINES FOR 32K FELONS SO THEY CAN VOTE

More politics. I’m def going to try to keep the Cousins from veering off too politically, but for sure this was something they wanted to talk about. But then Trump’s tax returns dropped and this got kicked to the back burner. 

GIANT RAT IS LAND MINE DETECTING HERO

TREMENDOUSLY bummed that this story didn’t make the cut. It has everything. An African Giant Rat was named a Gold Medal Recipient for "life-saving devotion to duty, in the location and clearance of deadly landmines in Cambodia." Hero Rats? Where’s Marty Mush when you need him.

So every Monday and Friday, I’ll fill you in on the things that we don’t get to on radio, so you can get a deeper look into the mind of the man who made Dave Portnoy (and his best friend and wife’s cousin).