Hope Everybody Had Fun While They Could, Because Dad Embiid Is Now Here To Rule The League
So turns out Joel Embiid and his longtime girlfriend Anne De Paula have been pregnant over the last month. The timing of it suggests that maybe the two got after it in the sheets after the Sixers' Christmas Day win over Milwaukee. And in under normal circumstances, it would have been perfect timing for Joel and Anne to bring a kid into the world.
But when you have to go away and live in a bubble down in Florida while your girlfriend is 7-8 months pregnant with your first child? All while the other star on your team gets hurt before the actual playoffs start? And the rest of your team is absolute dog shit and you then need to do everything on your own?
Well now you see why the Sixers had to get swept out of the 1st round of the playoffs. Joel literally couldn't afford to go on a playoff run here. He couldn't risk going to the Conference Finals and miss the birth of his first son. He couldn't risk going to the Finals and not being there to help Anne through that first month. The Sixers literally had no other choice but to just cut the season short so Joel could get home and be the father that he's supposed to be.
But now? It's Dadbiid's world and we're just living in it. As if Joel Embiid wasn't dominant enough already on his own, now he's gonna have Dad Strength? There will quite literally be no stopping this man in the post. Keep Mike D'Antoni out of here. In fact, don't even hire a coach at all. Just get Embiid the ball down low and let that Dad Strength go to work. Don't need some jackass in a suit to come up with that. Also, this always gives Embiid a great excuse to be just a little bit out of shape. So now we never have to talk about his weight again.
Sidenote: Embiid, Sean Couturier, Claude Giroux, Carson Wentz and Bryce Harper have all become new fathers over the last year and some change. Is Philadelphia the most wholesome sports city in America? Not for me to say, but the answer is undoubtedly yes. Just a bunch of dudes being dads. You love to see it. I just hope those boys aren't wasting all their energy in bed instead of during their games. Could definitely help explain the way things have been going here lately.