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Peaceful Group of Fathers Detain Man At Cracker Barrel Because He Was A Peeping Tom

A convicted sex offender was tackled and detained by a group of fathers in a South Carolina Cracker Barrel parking lot Sunday after a 15-year-old girl accused the man of looking under bathroom stalls in the ladies' room

This dude is obviously deranged and depraved so no need to dwell on that. What we can dive into is the sheer audacity of doing this at a Cracker Barrel.

A CRACKER BARREL?! YOU WANNA BE A FUCKING PEDOPHILIC MONSTER AT CRACKER BARREL?

In a CB, there is ALWAYS at least 20 older dudes who were Vietnam veterans who are still rightfully pissed about their treatment post war. They’ve been crushing sweet tea, biscuits, corn bread, hash brown casserole, and chicken n dumplings for 3 hours just waiting for the opportunity to mollywhoop some perverted fuck into next Tuesday’s Special (fried catfish). They’ll leave you seeing more stars than Dorthy has on her apron and she’s worked off of I-95 at this Cracker Barrel for 27 years without taking vacation. Star city.

As the old saying goes, fuck up in a Cracker Barrel and you’re in country store for an all day ass whoopin because there is nothing like the vengeance of a group of fathers who know that they’re in the right, someone needs a beating, and they just ran out of ice cream to go on the peach cobbler. These dads will all simultaneously whoop your ass, toss a few peanut chews and strawberry candy sticks on the counter, pop your bitch-ass eye just one more time before chugging down a Dr. Browns Orange Soda and  signing paying the bill. They’ll then go home, fall asleep on the recliner with golf on the TV entirely too loud, and be shocked that the beating they supplied was even considered blog worthy. It is though.

Those are the facts and they are undisputed.