Last Tuesday, soon to be 28-year-old Emily Owings has to shit… bad. She was presumably on her way to take said shit when she was pulled over by an Enid, OK police officer for not wearing a seat belt. Based on Emily's predicament this was probably more of a crime of passion to relieve pressure in her butt area rather than discontent for the law.
When the officer approached the car and asked for ID, Emily was only able to furnish her medical marijuana card - which in Oklahoma is probably a worse look than not having any ID at all. Turns out Emily didn't have any ID because her license had been revoked; which the officer informed her of in addition to the fact that she was going to have to wait there so he could figure out if she had any outstanding warrants (she did).
Like most of us who've been in this position before, Emily was trying to figure out a way out of this situation, ideally without a ticket or citation of any kind. Emily was already behind in the count, strike one was the no seatbelt, strike two was her suspended license/no ID, she knew the inning was getting away from her and that she had to swing for the fences if she had any chance of not shitting the cloth seats in her F150.
That's when she leveled with the officer, blurting out: "But I have to poop so bad,”
This was a deft move by Emily. Being that 62% of men don't believe that women poop at all, there was a good chance the officer would be so confused and disgusted the he would immediately send her on her way. But this officer is probably married or has a female child because he was completely unfazed, responding with: "Where do you think I was going?”
Emily then upped the stakes telling the officer "It’s my birthday, man. …It’s my fucking birthday.” But that didn't seem to work either (perhaps he was a Jehovah's Witness).
Turns out Emily had an outstanding warrant in Woods County for fighting officers. The officer told Emily she was going to have to stay put and that Woods County Police were coming to get her, to which Emily responded "No their not." and then put the key in the ignition and sped off, leading police on a high speed chase through a school zone and blowing through stop signs.
When she finally stopped she was promptly taken into custody, asking the arresting officer:
“Can I poop in your car, man?”
“You could’ve already been on your way to jail!” the officer said.
“Yeah,” Owings said. “But not pooping!”
“Get in the car!” the officer said.
A search of the car produced a meth pipe.
Here is the link to the full video:
Taking a look at Emily's mugshot, I am guessing at the time the photo was taken she still hadn't relieved herself.