Tyler Seguin Is A Zamboni Driver's Worst Enemy

Tyler Seguin is addicted to being the last player on the ice at the end of warmups. It was a cute little quirk at first, especially when he'd have to battle Mark Schiefele via rock, paper, scissors to be the last one out there. But just like any other addiction, eventually those actions start to have a significant impact on others instead of just the person committing the act. Some folks out there might just see Tyler Seguin having to fake out Sergachev to make sure he's the last player to touch the ice...

But what I see is a Zamboni driver down in the corner losing his goddamn mind because he has a sheet of ice to cut and he's getting held up from doing his job all because Seguin has this superstition. 

Folks. Zamboni drivers are quite literally the most important people at any given rink at any given time. Without Zamboni drivers, we don't have hockey. You love watching guys like Connor McDavid flying down the ice faster than the speed of light? It's not possible without the Zamboni drivers out there cutting the ice and lubing up the tracks. You love watching a beautician like Nikita Kucherov dangle through an entire team before pulling off the no-move on the tendy? That puck would stop dead in its tracks if it weren't for the Zamboni driver clearing off the ice to allow that move to work. 

And when you get to this level, these guys are the best in the world at what they do. They have it down to a science. So for Tyler Seguin to continuously delay them from doing their job--the most important job in all of hockey--just because he's addicted to being the last player on the ice at the end of warmups? Well I can't just idly stand by here anymore and pretend that I'm okay with it. It's time for Tyler Seguin to get hit with a 2-minute minor for delay of game for the first offense, a 10-minute major for the 2nd, and a suspension any time after that as a repeat offender. You don't fuck with people who handle your food, and you don't fuck with the Zamboni drivers. 2 rules of life. 

Disclaimer: I'm in a cranky mood today because of the Eagles.