Live EventDave Portnoy Is Out For Blood - Cyber Monday Double Header - Stool Streams XVIIStarting Soon
Cyber Monday Sale - 20% OffShop Now

Get Your Ass Back On The Cowboys Bandwagon -- Dallas Is Going To The Super Bowl

Last week, I opened the Monday Morning Cowboys blog with “Well, THAT sucked.” I was completely prepared to do a repeat of this sentiment, only much, much worse. For all but two seconds of the entire game against the Falcons, it was a disaster. A million fumbles in the first quarter alone it seemed, fake punts (as in more than one) that were sniffed out faster than an assload of cocaine next to a german shepherd inside of JFK… Falcons running up and down the field on offense. It was just SO SO SO sad. 

Although I said I felt (slightly) better about this game, I admitted “I’m still nervous.” LOL. Definitely should have been more nervous than I was, and I was already freaking about the loss of Jarwin (season), Vander Esch (6-8 games), Anthony Brown (IR), and Tyron Smith (who the fuck knows). 

STRESSS.

Before this game, I had a LOT of concerns:

  1. Containing all of the Falcons weapons: “I can see Julio and Calvin Ridley being PROBLEM” (CHECK) 

  2. Gurley running roughshod as a pass-catcher like Malcolm Brown did Week 1 (Thank god that didn’t happen) 

  3. The Cowboys Offensive Line specifically at RT and LT: “This could be 2017 all over again” meaning Dak getting sacked and eaten by Falcons D Line (YEP)

  4. Mike McCarthy and Kellen Moore’s conservative and methodically slow play calling (YES AND NO)

  5. Whether Dalton Schultz could really step in for Blake Jarwin (BOY WAS I WRONG)

  6. Field Goal Kicking (PTSD) (ALSO WRONG) 

     I also had a couple of positive predictions 

  1. Without a LT and RT, Dak will have to get the ball out fast which bodes well potentially for rookie CeeDee Lamb (Over 100 yards receiving) 

  1. If Dallas can eventually get blocks, that means Dak should be able to air it out for a ton of yards (Dak threw for 450 yards)

  2.  Falcons don’t really have a defense (OR SPECIAL TEAMS) 

This is a game that pretty much defies any attempt to break it down, short of admitting it was an Act of God that caused the Cowboys to win. I mean, the Falcons had a 99.9% win probability with about 2 minutes left in the game -- which is MORE than their win probability (99.3%) when they were up 28-3 in the damn Super Bowl. They had every single chance in the world to put away the Cowboys, and in typical Falcons fashion, just stubbornly refused to win. Even Julio Jones, maybe the best receiver in the game, did his part:

What world are we living in where Julio Jones turns into post-injury A.J. Green??? 

We’re living in a world where the Cowboys might just be ready to embrace the moment. In sports winning often comes down to which coach has the better game plan and who gets a few timely breaks. And while Mikey Mac certainly was SUS, John Fassel (special teams coach who defected from the Rams along with Greg Zuerlein) drew up one of the craziest onside kick calls that we’ve seen in a long time. 

I truly believe this win will redefine the Cowboys moving forward. It may have just been the Falcons (who stink) and no matter how much the Dirty Birds LOVE to find creative ways to lose, sometimes a team needs to see something remarkable to believe in the impossible. Sometimes they need to pull out something impossible to commit to fighting til its 00:00 no matter how many points they're down. As a person who lived through the Cardiac Nats and went along on their historic run to becoming World Series Champs, this sorta feels like that. 

So, as much of a naysayer, skeptic and pessimist that I am when it comes to sports, not today… 

Giphy Images.

I could watch this game winning kick on loop forever.

Keep it up Cowboys, this type of heart might just get you a ring. 

Now go buy a CeeDee Lamb t-shirt because you’re going to be hearing a LOT about him, and the Cowboys, in the coming months. 

HOW ‘BOUT THEM COWBOYS! 

PS You can watch me live (and die) and live again on IG as I go through a rollercoaster of emotions during those incredible final minutes.