Just a little tip here with MDW basically here: Don’t drive drunk. Don’t do it. Call a cab. Call one of those fancy Ubers I keep hearing about. Walk the 10 miles you need to go if you have to. Just don’t drive. Because if you do you might end up like this moron here. Cruising along, probably thinking he’s the best drunk driver, and then BOOM a cop car comes outta nowhere and bites him. Fucker came outta nowhere. And by that I of course mean the cop car was sitting completely still and the drunk dude straight up slammed into it all on his own. Like an idiot. Again, be smart this weekend. If you really find yourself in a bind, call me. I sure as hell won’t come get you because I’ll be swimming in a sea of empty Bud Light bottles myself but I’ll tell you not to be an idiot and to call a cab. Promise.