So close! So damn close! Listen, I’m not saying I wanted those people to die. All I’m saying is accidents happen. That’s all. Accidents happens and people die. It’s called life. Would I prefer to have four hipsters doing a sing-a-long in their car with a selfie stick die as opposed to a beautiful family of four who weren’t using a selfie stick? Well now you’re backing me into a corner and I would absolutely prefer the four hipsters go down in flames. Given those two options, thats what I would choose. What even happened? Did they blow a tire and then barrel roll into a ditch? Perfect timing. So perfect that it can’t just be a coincidence. If that’s what happened then it’s proof that God, who probably doesn’t exist, hates selfie sticks too. HATES them. “Oh these mother fuckers. They broke out the selfie stick while on the highway and now they’re doing a stupid sing-a-long. That’s it. That’s the last straw. I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m popping their tire. Good luck!” That’s God talking. That’s a selfie-stick-hating God talking.
PS- Did I use a selfie stick while walking around Boston with Gracie? Sure did. No ragrets.