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The Church of Iceland Depicts Jesus With a Beard and Bewbs

Daily Mail - The Church of Iceland's new 'woke' ad welcoming people to Sunday School has sparked outrage after it featured a bearded Jesus Christ with breasts, makeup and a dress.

The advert, which apparently shows Jesus shaking his 'breasts' while dancing under a rainbow, appeared on the National Church's Facebook page on September 11.

The advert has since been deleted from the Church's page, but will be depicted on buses in the Icelandic capital Reykjavik for at least another two weeks.

The Church said in a statement: 'The 2020 Assembly of the National Church regrets that the picture of Jesus in a Sunday school advertisement has hurt people. The goal was to emphasise diversity, not to hurt people or shock them.' 

Petur Georg Markan, media representative for the Church of Iceland, said that is positive for Jesus Christ to appear in different forms and that the church celebrates diversity.

Markan added: 'In this one, we see a Jesus who has breasts and a beard. We're trying to embrace society as it is. We have all sorts of people and we need to train ourselves to talk about Jesus as being 'all sorts' in this context. ... 

However, he was also aware of the online backlash, adding: 'We know that not everyone agrees Christ should appear this way, and we do of course respect that.'

OK, Church of Iceland. I get what's going on here. You're trying to celebrate diversity and make all people feel welcome so you can expand your congregation by not coming off as all judgey and too much by 'The Book," if you will. So those people who normally give Christianity a good leaving alone because they think they're going to get condemned for being different will fill the pews and the collection plate. I understand. 

But let's not play games here. There's no way you put fake bewbs on the Son of God and not think you're going to "shock" people. Or at least press their buttons. I've seen how this works. The way the game is played is you do something non-traditional and semi-outlandish knowing it'll trigger some people and bring out the fringe crackpots who'll throw all sorts of vile hate at you. Then you get the moral high ground and celebrate how open minded and inclusive you are. Win/win. 

Well you'll get no such hatred from me. Because the Lamb of God I worship can take it. I think he's got a family business to help run - a little thing called "the universe" - and prayers to answer and athletes to say "You're welcome" to after they win. And so he's got bigger things to worry about than how he's portrayed on the side of a bus in Reykjavik, thank you very much. 

Which is different than saying I'm not offended, because I am. I'm offended not at the suggestion there were breast implants in Nazareth in the years 1 A.D. to 32 A.D. But because the Jesus I worship was RIPPED. 

He didn't have man boobs. He worked out. He was chiseled. That's been confirmed by every painting, crucifix and statue for the last 2,020 years. 

Sure, if you want to give them to him, you make him look more like me, because I'm a sedentary half man/half sofa who eats fists full of carbs and then washes them down with pint cans of liquid New England IPA carbs. If you depict me with moobs, I'd say you saw me in one of my thinner t-shirts. Depict Jesus with them and you're rewriting history. He didn't eat loaves, he turned them into fishes. He lived off of proteins and the occasional unleavened bread on the holidays. He worked with his hands all day doing carpentry when he wasn't walking all over the Holy Land. And the sea, for that matter. He had an 8-pack and well defined pecs and any suggestion to the contrary is just making up your own reality. 

So support anyone and everyone you want. however you want. The Almighty would want it that way. Just acknowledge that the Christ you worship was in amazing shape and we'll be fine.