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"And That, Kids, Is How I Met Your Mother"

It's like I've always said, fellas--if she ain't shreddin', then we ain't weddin'. 

You gotta find yourselves an absolute weapon, boys. Certified beauticians only. Don't settle for anything less. Walking down the aisle is for pigeons. Every boy grows up dreaming about the day when he can blade down the aisle to marry to girl of his dreams. And this chick right here? Well she can blade with the best of them. 

Only thing I'd be a little worried about here is that she's a witch. Nothing about the physics of this make any sense to me. Granted, I don't know dick about physics so maybe that's just a me problem. But my gut instinct is that some sort of witchcraft is afoot here. And that's just not really something I think I'm particularly well equipped to handle. But still. The heart wants what the heart wants.