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Liverpool? Tottenham Has Done It! They Are About To Sign Gareth Bale AND Alex Morgan So Suck On That

So Feits blogged this little nugget of information. Liverpool signing Thiago? Oh whoopity fucking doo. Everyone knows Liverpool is old news (please, I'm begging Liverpool to stop being good). The real story is what's happening with Tottenham. They are about to sign Gareth Bale (again) and already signed Alex Morgan. Yeah, that's right. They signed America's soccer queen, so if you hate Tottenham you're really cheering against America. 

Remember when Alex Morgan ripped England's soul out during the World Cup? Wonder how that will go over? 

Giphy Images.
Giphy Images.
Giphy Images.

Thought signing one goal scorer was big enough news, but now all reports are saying Gareth Bale is returning to Tottenham: 

So go have fun with your Thiago and your Premier League title, Feits. We're a playing a numbers game over here with Tottenham and yes I'm a Spurs fan. We're due! It's only a matter of time until Tottenham wins the Premier League, strictly on the numbers. So call me crazy but bringing in Alex Morgan to the woman's side and Gareth Bale is exactly what Spurs needed.