Swing for the Fences, eh, Draftkings? Well then. There’s only one choice. Big Sexy on the bump. Might go yard. I dont even care that pitchers’ hitting is counted in point totals. When you’re in a contest called Swing For The Fences and Tolo is pitching that night, you only have one choice. Draft the guy who swings out of his shoes every single pitch.
And that is the ONLY Met you should be drafting. I mean look at this:
Worst Draftkings lineup ever. I might have to put in a call to the Draftkings execs and tell them their pricing for Michael Cadaver is appalling. $3,600! The Mets shouldnt even be paying him 3,600 real dollars, and he shouldnt be worth $3,600 fantasy dollars. Here’s my full nonsensical lineup:
I’m convinced the Carlos Martinez will mow down the Mets AAA lineup and get the win, but I’m legally bound to put Tolo on my team. Does it make sense to draft opposing pitchers? No. Its crazy. Crazy like a fox.
Put ARod on the squad because either I mush him and he sucks in real life and hurts the Yankees chances of winning (no, I dont care that they are playing the Nats. Nats about to run away with the division) or he hits another bomb and my Draftkings team performs. Win win. Put Tulo out there because its the only chance I’ll get to have Tolo and Tulo on the same team since the Mets are too fucking stupid to make the deal. Nelson Cruz because he MASHES and he should be on my team but, say it with me, the Mets are too fucking stupid to make the deal.