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Does Having A Massive Snake Wrapped Around Your Face Count As Wearing a Mask?

Well, this... this was unexpected. 

The kneejerk reaction to this is jail. Simply jail. That's where someone of this caliber deserves to be. It takes a very specific individual to look off every semi-normal facial covering and go directly to a snake. What planet are we on? There are SO MANY options that come before putting a nasty ass reptile on your face. A literal t-shirt would be a better option. Wearing a snake on your face when you go out is all fine and dandy until one day it forces its eggs down your throat and you end up with snakes popping out of your chest like motherfuckin' Aliens.

Couldn't be me.


A man carrying a huge snake around his neck was spotted riding a bus in Salford. 

The man, who appeared to be using the large reptile as a face covering, was seen boarding the Swinton to Manchester service at Salford precinct yesterday

Shocked passengers watched on as the man removed the snake from around his neck and allowed it to wrap itself around the hand rails.

So not only is he wearing a pretty gross snake but he's letting it slither all over the place? Just letting it gather even more germs to then wrap around his face? That's like if I was to walk to a store, take off my mask, rub it all over the places that people touch, and just put it back on my face; it defeats the entire purpose.

You know this guy acted shocked too. You don't wear a snake as facial covering in public WITHOUT coming up with a rebuttal argument. 

"Uhhh sir can you please put on a mask"

"What do you mean? I'm wearing one."

"Sir that's a snake."

"You wench! Can't you see I'm clearly wearing a mask!"

The more shocking part is that he was allowed to bring his fucking gigantic snake onto public transit in the first place. People get dirty looks for bringing normal pets onto trains, buses, etc. How did no one say anything? They just let this man and his snake run riot on this bus for the duration of a bus ride? I'll tell you one thing for certain, this shit would NOT fly on MTA lines. You can barely even bring a bike onto the train without a conductor giving you a hard time, let alone a massive fucking snake.

Sidenote - if you bring your bike from home into work via train, go fuck yourself.

A 46-year-old, from Swinton, said: “He had it wrapped around his face like a mask getting on the bus.

“At first I thought he had a really funky mask on, then he let it crawl around the hand rails.

“No one was really bothered on the bus but a man behind took a video. It was definitely entertaining.”

A funky mask, indeed. 

While its certainly a bizarre situation, I could see not being bothered by it at the moment. It's just been such a fucky year that a snake mask is something you can just look off. Almost any other year ever it would probably be very frowned upon to bring an uncaged snake onto public transport like you're Jake the Snake Roberts. 

So long as the snake stayed within the man's grasp, there isn't much of a problem. As soon as that slippery bastard is on the loose, all bets are off. That's when you hit that mafk with a patented DDT and call it a day.

Maybe this guy will realize that this is just a horrible idea and just pay $1 - most places even give them out for free - for a mask so he doesn't have to cause such a stir. Now he's all over the place known as the crazy snake mask guy but he probably knew that risk when he took it. Hopefully, soon enough, this whole pandemic thing is over and we can go back to normal. For now, this guy deserves jail and potentially worse.