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I Feel Like Everyone Is Totally Glossing Over The Fact That Manti Teo's Fake Girlfriend Is A Real Person Who Is A Smoke And That I Would Like To Fake Date Her On The Internet


This is what I hate about the media. Star middle Linebacker has a fake internet girlfriend, kills her with cancer and a car accident, and now all we want to talk about is “Morality” and “Ethics” and where Manti Teo will go from here. No. Fuck that. This story is awesome because its so crazy, don’t make this some greater life lesson I need to learn about how to be safe on the internet. I don’t need that bullshit.


What I do need is some more of the fake girlfriend that is actually a real person. I feel like we’ve totally glossed over that fact. That a real girl had her pictures passed around by the national media as a dead chick from California and no one in her life said anything. Does she not have any friends? Does she not have a TV or the internet?  How is it possible that NO ONE in her entire life was like oh yeah, I saw a picture of you last night, sorry to hear about your Leukemia death. WHAT? How does that work?


Actually to be perfectly honest I don’t care how that works, I really just want to date Manti Teo’s fake girlfriend. Real internet date her. Not like pretend date her and try to win a Heisman. I want to find her on twitter, tweet her creepy things , and tell everyone we’re a couple, you know the Big Cat Special. And I know yesterday I said I currently have too many internet girlfriends but when Notre Dame’s star linebacker invents a fake girl and then kills her with Leukemia I sort of have to make an exception. So someone find her for me, Manti Teo really dated a fake girl and I want to fake date the real girl, if that makes any sense.