Andy Reid In A Constantly Fogged Up Face Shield Was All Of Us That Have No Clue How To Defrost Our Car Windows In Rainy Weather
As soon as Andy Reid's mask was unveiled to the world, everyone's brain went to the same two places:
1. Reid should adjust well to wearing a considering he has plenty of experience with buffet sneeze guards
2. Reid is going to have trouble seeing once that mask fogged up, which based on that video was literally the millisecond he put it on.
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I'm not sure about the entire country, but as someone that has driven his entire life in the Northeast, I can tell you just how tough it is to get rid of that fog on a wet September night.
If it's really hot or really cold out, defrosting is a piece of cake.
Foggy window in the heat = Smash that Defrost button with the knob all the way to Cold
Foggy window in the cold = Smash that Defrost button with the knob all the way to Hot
Easy, peezy, lemon squeezy, right?
The problem with all this is when you have a rainy day right smack dab in the middle of the thermometer, that's where the laws of defrosting cease to exist. Straight up Window No Man's Land. You turn on the cold defrost, the window fogs up more. You throw the warm defrost on, the window somehow fogs up even faster. You go back to cold, somehow that accelerates the fog to twice what it was the first time. Then you open the window and put the wipers on full blast PRAYING this is one of those times where it fixes this nightmare as you drive.
Once the Open Window card has been played, there is no turning back. It either unfogs your windshield or you drive the rest of the trip with your head out the window before you either get to your destination or crash (since you obviously can't pull over and figure it out because that would be wayyyyy to reasonable).
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How car companies run by supercomputers that have WiFi signals and televisions in the headrest haven't created a Super Defrost button that obliterates every ounce of fog and neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night will stop it from defrosting that glass. If I ever got on Pimp My Ride back in the day and Xzibit asked what I wanted, I would say "Well Mr. X-to-the-Z, all I really need is a super defroster that prevents my brain from entering Freak Mode any time my windows fog up on a rainy night". He would oblige, hook me up with something preposterous like an ice cream machine in my trunk because that show was awesomely ridiculous, then we'd sing his verses from "Bitch Please" and "What's The Difference" since Xzibit's solo catalog is not as strong as I remembered.
I'm gonna be doing the Xzibit "Ahhhh ahhhhh" the rest of the day all because Andy Reid's faceshield was constantly fogged up. The internet is a weird place to get lost in.
P.S. People have been telling me that the secret is to BLAST the fuck out of the heat for a couple of minutes no matter how uncomfortable you get. However, I know my shitty brain is going to forget this the minute I hit Publish on this blog just like it forgets how to do the 4 gallon riddle from Die Hard With A Vengeance.