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The Gender Reveal Wildfire Disaster Has Helped Turn Northern California's Sky Into Something Straight Out Of Mars

By now you've heard of the gender reveal from hell that sparked a wild fire in California. If not, please catch up with Large's blog here. Well that wildfire has now forced over 20,000 people to relocate from their homes. TWENTY THOUSAND PEOPLE. Over 10,000 acres of land have been destroyed as it continues to spread. I read that in some parts it's 20 degrees colder than normal because the smoke in the clouds is preventing sunlight from reaching the ground. That honestly sounds like how the dinosaurs died. The images out of Cali are fucking crazy. I hope everyone manages to get to safety and this shit dies down soon. 

(I have a hard time believing the last tweet above isn't altered with a little bit, but if not then holy shit)

On a side note, could you imagine being this future kid? You're not even born yet and you're the reason for all of this. You're basically the anti-christ without having any say in the matter. You start the game of life down 42-0 before kickoff. Also your parents are going to be broke beyond belief after the fines they get from all this. Yeah FUCK that. Put me up for adoption asap. 

I know new parents are always wondering what's the perfect age to sit your kids down and have the birds and the bees talk, but what about informing your son or daughter that they were the reason Northern California burnt to the ground? 10 years old? 13? Is that something you just chalk up to them finding out on their own? Safe to say I'm glad I'm not these two brain dead morons who started a gigantic forest fire because they had to use a fancy pyrotechnic machine instead of asking their doctor about the gender of their goddamn child. Stop gender reveal parties right now.