The Rams Signed Jalen Ramsey To A 5-Year, $105 Million Extension To Make Him The Highest-Paid Cornerback Ever Because The NFL Salary Cap Is But A Mere Mirage

The Brink Truck has arrived! It took a helllllllllll of a detour from Duval to LA. But it arrives all the same like destiny when it comes to the Rams. Oh Aaron Donald is up for an extension? BOOM, here's a giant bag of cash. Need to lock up Jared Goff to one of those bananaland QB contracts? No problemmmmmmmmm. What's that $31 million in dead cap space for Todd Gurley and Brandin Cooks? Oh don't worry about that, check out our scoreboard straight from a spaceship!

Let's check in to see how fans of the other 3 NFC West teams are dealing with Les Snead re-signing yet another Ram to a humongous deal.

Giphy Images.

Thanks to the NFL salary cap being more of a guideline like the lines in a coloring book than a steadfast rule teams must STRICTLY adhere to, Jalen Ramsey can purchase one of those fancy LA houses in the hills that made my poor person brain hemorrhage while looking at it on Hard Knocks while locking up the other team's WR1 and so good at talking shit that it even made mild mannered AJ Green see red.

Speaking of talking and shit, I ask that everyone tweet @UncleChaps their thoughts and/or prayers (preferably both) during this difficult time as a Jaguars fan with your favorite current Jaguar not named Gardner Minshew or DJ Chark since I know he would do the same for me.

P.S. I bet Deion is looking long and hard at his weight room today in order to dip back into that NFL cash one time instead of being coworkers with professional idiots like me.