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UPDATE: Soooooo Apparently The Whole Jelly Belly Golden Ticket Contest For A Free Factory Is Bullshit Since The Guy Who Is Running It Wasn't The Founder And Doesn't Work For Jelly Belly?

So I blogged this story earlier today about Jelly Belly giving away $5,000 in a bunch of treasure hunts around the country. Was it kinda weird that the entry fee was $50, the submission email was a GMail address, and the guy running the contest looked like a Slugworth knockoff of the real Willy Wonka?

Of course! But if believing there was a real life Golden Ticket contest going on in the most depressing year of our lives is wrong, I don't want to be right. Which is a good thing, because it turns out I was wrong.

Jelly Belly- Due to confusion in the marketplace, Jelly Belly Candy Company would like to take this opportunity to clear up the misconception that it is involved with a contest that purportedly offers a candy factory as its grand prize. Jelly Belly Candy Company, formerly known as Herman Goelitz Candy Company, has candy making roots back to 1869. It was founded by brothers Gustav and Albert Goelitz and remains family owned and operated today. 

David Klein, the sponsor of the “treasure hunt” contest gaining attention within the media this weekend, is not associated with Jelly Belly Candy Company, its brands, or products. In 1976, Mr. Klein, an independent third party, came up with the name “Jelly Belly” and other novel marketing ideas. Jelly Belly Candy Company has not had a relationship with Mr. Klein since 1980 when it acquired the trademark.

You know what? That's on me for believing something good could happen in 2020 based on something a guy with a jelly bean cowboy hat said. While we are all dreaming of candy factories full of chocolate rivers and edible trees, you would probably win a key to a factory full of nothing but rusty nails and Florida gators. I would compare it to the factory Bart bought back in the day but I always thought even that would be awesome.

The taste of defeat in my mouth by not quadruple sourcing a story going super viral is worse than 100 Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellys straight to the dome and the pain of this mistake will haunt me for the rest of my life, not just for deceiving you the reader but because I will never participate in a gold ticket contest in my life. You know what we do when we make a mistake, right? That's right, we run a lap!

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Giphy Images.

While we're here, imagine being the head of PR for Jelly Belly and finding out you have to put out a fire of millions of people thinking you are running a Golden Ticket contest out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory because some some mamaluke said there was one without authorization from the proper authorities.

It's such bullshit this isn't true.