Barstool College Football Show - LIVE from Soldier Field in Chicago - Saturday 10:30am ETTUNE IN

What Is The Correct Amount Of "Chuggas" Necessary Before Saying "Choo Choo"?

This debate is currently tearing the world as we know it apart. Easily the most controversial thing to happen in 2020 that I can remember. How many chuggas do you hit before you smash that motherfucking choo-choo? Let's start with this teacher from the scenario above first. ONE chugga? They let fucking anyone around kids these days, huh? Our future is doomed if we've got these zoomers running around thinking trains only require a single chug to choo choo. That's absurd. That's chaos. That's anarchy. Then you've got the father here with only enough time to utter two chuggas. What fucking rush are you in where you think two is ok? You've never seen a train chugga only twice. That defies the very laws of physics as we know them. It's wrong and upsetting. Almost as wrong as his kids who I want to roast but I cannot blame them. They've got a lazy father and an insane teacher they've been led astray their whole lives it's not their fault they think it's merely three chuggas. They've been walking around hearing it's only one or two from those they look up to, it's a miracle they even got to a rebellious three in the first place. But still, wrong. 

Allow me to break it down, scientifically, once and for all. 

It's gotta be a multiple of four. I will judge you if you only use four but at least you've got the rhythm down pat. I believe you've seen a train in the wild if you hit the necessary four (4) chuggas required to operate a standard locomotive. Personally I'm an eight man myself. There's a lot of support for 12 out there and those people all do cocaine regularly. They just can't knock it off with the chuggas. They're like Ric Flair Woos. But I'm not knocking them, I respect their commitment to the chug. As long as you hit eight or 12 you're in the clear. I'm glad we could settle this once and for all here today.