Seven pints of piss is very aggressive. A glass in the morning, fine, whatever. Who am I to say no? But when it turns into a borderline obsession - drinking several pints, posting it all to social media - someone has to step in and say enough is enough and stop this tomfoolery.
Urine could literally cure every ailment in the world and I still wouldn't drink it. There's just something psychological about peeing in a cup, guzzling it down like a juice of sorts, that doesn't feel right. Call me old fashioned, call me stupid. Whatever. At least you'll never catch this guy downing a hot, steamy cup of the yellow stuff. There's a reason they tell you not to eat the yellow snow.
Jan Schünemann, 26, claims that gulping down his own urine has helped him beat depression - and ward off other illnesses.
The sports coach, from Hamburg, Germany, said: “It is the perfect medicine for all diseases and viruses. It is the body’s own vaccination."
This guy loves piss. A urine lifer, if you will. His Instagram is just littered with piss videos. His borderline obsession with the liquid is very concerning. Have you ever seen someone push drinking your pee this hard? The answer is no, you haven't because normal people wouldn't even think of such a thing.
Honestly, I was under the impression that drinking pee was marginally bad for you. That it was merely a fetish for the criminally fucked brains of society - you know, golden showers and the sorts. But as per a swift google search (something I trust far more than this man), you can drink your urine but you have to be "healthy and hydrated." So that eliminates about 90% of the world's population, including myself. This guy is gonna end up leading a bunch of people to drink their soda-infused urine and it won't be good for them at all. We can just chalk that up as natural selection, the survival of the fittest.
Also, this guy being cured of illnesses/depression because of his piss drinking habits is 100% a placebo effect, right? Like there's no way this actually works. There are definitely far better options to help people deal with those things.
Jan drinks between three and seven pints of his own urine every day.
He also puts it in his ears with a syringe, and uses a glass to pour into his eyes, as well as rubbing the liquid over his skin.
Drinking your own pee is one thing, but once you start POURING IT INTO YOUR EYES you need to be locked away in the darkest cell. Not only that but this freaky bastard is bathing in the stuff. We can all agree that at this point, anything this man has said is null and void. You can't be taken seriously when you're literally addicted to pee.
My biggest question is how has no one stopped him? Does his family just idly sit by whilst he goes down this rabbit hole of piss? Someone should step in and be like "hey man, maybe you should cut back on the piss, it's really fucking weird." Like just because this asshole has a six-pack and an impeccably symmetrical face doesn't mean this helps anything.
Personally, I think this guy is off the fucking reservation and he's creating/resolving these problems in his own head to help him cope with the fact that he simply cannot get enough pee into his system. I'm sure he'd inject it straight into his veins if he was allowed. That's all life really is though, finding an excuse to keep going. His reasoning just so happens to be drinking an absurd amount of his own pee.
Maybe try a salad, bro.
PS - This whole thing just made me picture all the piss jugs from Trailer Park Boys. I wonder if this guy pre-packages his pee in similar jugs or if he drinks it straight from the tap.
The way of the road, bubs.