CONNECT THE DOTS: Jadeveon Clowney's Personal Chef Posted Pictures On Instagram Of Her Cooking For Sean Payton Last Night
Oh fuck yes. Maybe my favorite thing in sports is connecting the dots in a free agency sweepstakes based on a private jet's flight pattern or a superstar's kids being enrolled at a private school in a new city. Which is why I love seeing something fresh like the "personal chef posting pictures on Instagram of cooking dinner for the potential new head coach (with a weird new haircut)" square being added to the Free Agent BINGO Board.
I have no fucking clue how the Saints can continue to afford the team they already have let alone one with Jadeveon Clowney along with whatever contract they may give Alvin Kamara unless the NFL salary cap is more of a guideline than a hard rule, like the elbow rule for a casual game of beer pong in a house that doesn't have any Hardos in it. However, since Clowney has his own personal chef (which everyone knows is the secret to being in great shape), I am giving the Saints an A for this signing that is definitely happening because you don't have your private chef cook for a guest unless you are getting something back in return.
Wanna get hungry on the Saturday morning of Labor Day Weekend, thus ensuring you absolutely hammer today's BBQ?
P.S. Part of me can't believe Clowney is STILL unsigned less than a week before the NFL season kicks off while part of me marvels at the genius of skipping a shitshow corona training camp while still getting a decent chunk of change before signing what feels like a decent sized one year Prove It deal. If the anniversary of Clowney's tackle + fumble recovery vs. Michigan had happened in early September instead of January 1st, I guarantee Clowney's agent would be sorting through NFL record contract offers since NFL GMs social media feeds would have been flooded with video of this murder and it's impossible not to expect this guy to become the best defender in football even if the bowl game it happened in is almost 8 years old, which is the age of a third grader.
