Barstool Confessions: My Troll Tweet About Joey Crawford Was Fake As Hell, But Even I Fell For It For .3 Seconds

One of my favorite things to do on the internet is troll people. I think a big part of this is because I’m a cube rat and it’s a way to pass time at work.  Being that the internet is filled with some of the dumbest, most sensitive creatures on the planet, every now and then I’ll throw a bunch of shit at the wall just to see what sticks.  99.99 percent of the time it doesn’t work whatsoever, and being that I have the attention span of a gold fish, I forget about it myself and carry on my wayward son with the rest of my day.  Here’s an example of me trolling people, if you don’t quite catch my drift yet:

Boston sports fans are the whiniest, pissiest people on earth.  Anyone who cheers for a Boston sports team more likely than not has a massive inferiority complex and thinks everyone is jealous of them, when in reality they’re just hated because they’re all huge douche bags.

Okay, that wasn’t me trolling, that was me speaking #FactsOnly

Anyways, rewind to yesterday.  Bulls/Cavs.  Lebron/Rose. Joey Crawford is announced as reffing the game.  Here’s the thing about me, I HATE officiating.  Doesn’t matter what sport it is.  Baseball, football, and basketball, whatever.  I hate any and all officials, and Joey Crawford is numero uno on my list.  Even ahead of that fat pelican Joe West.

Anyways, I sit down at my desk, and my buddy texts me some random stat he heard about Lebron in games Joey Crawford refs.

…

The crazy thing is this stat is kinda/ sorta believable.  Like I actually had to take the point .2 seconds out of my day to fire up google to realize it was completely fake.  That’s how bad Joey Crawford and NBA officiating is in general.  Anyways, I figured it was a good way to rile some people up on Twitter so I tweeted it anyways.

 

Within a matter of like 10 minutes I had like 100 retweets and people were pissing and moaning, calling me a sore loser and shit.  Again, this was simply me trolling.  I didn’t have any intention for sending the tweet other than to piss people off.  It wasn’t meant to be taken as true and since people were angry with me for tweeting (clearly) bullshit stats, mission accomplished I guess.

The day goes on, I get off work, and commence with yet another night of sitting in front of the TV watching sports, flipping back and forth between the Bulls, Sox and Cubs. The tweet had setled nicely at about 300 RTs and there were plenty of pissed off Bulls and Cavs fans.  I couldn’t have been happier with myself.

Then all of a sudden Joey Crawford starts doing Joey Crawford things and tosses Taj for absolutely nothing.  That’s all it took for my phone to blow up.  Bulls fans are PISSED.  They swear Tim Donaghey has a hand in this game and the entire NBA is rigged.  I’m sitting on my couch, laughing at myself and what I’ve consecrated out of thin air.  Not only that, but black twitter got a hold of it and started calling bruh and they where SMHing a bunch at me.  Hilarious, black twitter rocks.

NOW – fast forward to this morning.  I’m in my all too familiar cubicle and Nick Shepkowski of the Score tweets me:

This is where it really took off.  Morons on top of morons on top of morons calling the Score and ESPN radio complaining that the NBA is rigged and begging them to look at this simple troll tweet. People retweeting it, people stealing it and pawning it off as their own, people putting it into their columns, and everyone getting in a frenzy just because a cube monkey got bored at work one day. And really, that is the best present one of us regular joes can ever receive right? We all know work sucks, we all read Barstool to take our mind off our miserable existence, well creating a fake tweet that goes viral is the best remedy to every day monotony and it’s not even close. The story is pretty much over, and no, I didn’t find a 5 dollar bill on the ground at the end but I’ll always have the memories of the day I was like Andy Dufresne and the boys, drinking a cold beer on top of a hot roof, getting the internet in a tizzy over a made up stat.

  -END SCENE-