New British Reality Show Follows a Man Searching For a New Dick

Richard Stamp, 54, who we'll call Dick, found a lump on his Richard one day during an at-home evaluation, and initially thought nothing of it.  The lump never went away, and Dick began experiencing some pain.  Dick's dick was in severe pain for nearly 2 months before he eventually sought help. One night, during his sex-filled vacation in Australia, the lump erupted in excruciating pain leading him to be rushed to the hospital.  Once there, Dick met with Dr. Cox (I shit you not), a Physician who told Dick that his unfortunate pain was Penis Cancer. 

Dick sought a second opinion once back home in London where he visited the St. George's Hospital, home to Europe's leading Penile Oncologist.  I could only imagine what this guy has seen...

The doctor told Dick his unit was going to have to come off completely if he wanted to live, and Dick couldn't help but bust out in tears.  And, as if life couldn't get any worse for this poor bastard, his girlfriend of two years decided to leave him once she heard the news. Times were tough for Dick... He surely was down on his luck, feeling limp and useless, not knowing what was to come next.  

“I remember before the operation, thinking, ‘I’m going to run away,’ ” he said. “Then the realization is where am I going to run to? If I don’t do this, I’m going to die. Maybe it sounds crazy if you’re not a bloke, but living without a penis makes you question who you are.” - Richard Stamp -- NY Post

The removal was a success.  It took some time, but Dick was able to find love once again saying, “...I had to work out how to do that with a partner, how to share my new body with someone. But some women don’t mind."

Would those women be blind lesbian escorts by chance Dick?

Dick is now going through the process of receiving a prosthetic dong by way of skin graft from his ass and arm, and is also the subject of the latest and quite possibly the weirdest reality show to date, Naked and Afraid!

No, that's not it...

Say Yes to The Dong? 

Below Deck?

Fixer Upper? 

Pimp My Hog!?

No...

It's actually called 'Shopping for a New Penis' and is on Britain’s new Channel 5.

The documentary follows Dick's journey exploring the latest medical advancements in fake knobs, leading up to a three-part 39-hour surgery. Brutal.   

Dick is now a motivational speaker for a men's cancer charity organization educating young men on self-reporting issues with their plumbing. That job doesn't require a dick but it certainly requires balls, and a big heart, so all jokes aside we are all wishing you the best with your soon to be new penis, Richard.   

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