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Study Says That Men Who Make Their Bed Get Laid More Than Slobs, And I Call Bullshit

(NYPost)--If you’re thinking of bringing your date home to an unmade bed, you may want to think again.

According to new research, nearly four in 10 Americans said it would be a total turn-off to date someone who doesn’t make their bed.

The study split 2,000 Americans by bed-makers and non-bed-makers and found those who make their beds every day are having sex 25 percent more during their time in quarantine.

Bed-makers were also more likely than non-bed-makers to report that an unmade bed is a turn-off, at 55 percent of bed-makers compared to only 9 percent of non-bed-makers.

In fact, 61 percent of non-bed-makers said an unmade bed wouldn’t be a deal-breaker on a date.

Another survey/study that I am going to call 100%, unequivocal, BULLSHIT on. There is absolutely ZERO correlation between making your bed and having more sex. None. How do I know this…personal experience. I am a bed-maker. I try to do it every day now, no questions asked. Not ONE single time has a girl had sex with me because my bed was made. Zero for my life on bed-making to girl in bed conversions. I started making my bed consistently maybe like 5-6 years ago when things in my life were a little bit dark. I'd make good coffee in the morning and make the bed so I could get into a nicely made bed at night because everything that seemed to be happening in between the coffee and crawling into bed was, well, not great. At least I could bookend the day with two positive feelings even if they were exceptionally small. You know what would've been better for my state of mind at that time than a made bed at night…getting laid. 1000% would've been more helpful. And even though the bed was made every day there were no girls jumping in it. So yeah, anecdotal evidence but also universally true at the same time. 

And that brings me back to yesterday's radio conversation too. We were talking about clothes and shopping and going out and I had this thought/exchange with Eddie

No idea what makes girls want to sleep with a particular dude who is exceptionally average. I feel like 1% of guys are hot. The dudes who just walk in any room probably from the time they were like 14 and instantly have every girl's attention just with their stupid fucking jawline. Hate those guys. The rest of us…we just try our best to be funny. A made bed or clothes or really anything superficial doesn't seem to matter. Just hope for the best. Make your bed, but don't expect to get laid because of it. 

PS: This is Admiral William McRaven, which is a sweet fucking name, talking about why it's valuable to make your bed.