Old Man Kicked Out Of Nursing Home For Hiding Prostitutes Under His Bed - Daily Mail

NORRISTOWN, Pa. (AP) — Authorities say a man living in a suburban Philadelphia assisted-living facility has lost his housing subsidy after officials found a prostitute underneath his bed. Uri Monson tells The Intelligencer in Doylestown (http://bit.ly/1cpH33U) the man, believed to be in his 70s, paid prostitutes using profits earned from peddling alcohol to fellow residents. Monson says the man was a “more mobile gentleman” who went on booze runs for his neighbors. The incident was reported Thursday after county commissioners authorized contract extensions with private facilities housing former residents of the closed county-owned assisted living facility.

What are you supposed to do living out your final years in assisted living? Just stare at the wall waiting to die? Maybe mix in the occasional game of bingo. If you want to get real nuts, maybe some shuffleboard? Fuck all that noise. When you’re 70+ you deserve to do whatever you want. You’ve lived long enough that you’ve got a Golden Ticket. Drink booze and bang hookers and enjoy your twilight years. Let Uri Monson live!

Also in today’s podcast – the dude who strangled his step father to death during an atomic wedgie faces 35 years in prison, teenagers playing a dangerous new game called The Game of 72, Cocaine Anonymous has decided to hold their next addiction convention in…Las Vegas, and red head ginger planned to assassinate Prince Charles and Prince William so Harry could become King.

Subscribe to the new Daily Mail iTunes page here