Falwell Sex Scandal Update: An Semi-Confession, a $10.5 Million Severance, Sexy Becki Photos and a Girl in Granny Panties

Steve Helber. Shutterstock Images.

In our last episode of "Keeping Up With the Falwells," Jerry Jr. resigned his post as head of Liberty University. He also admitted that Becki had about a six year affair with former pool boy-turned-business partner Giancarlo Granda, starting when Granda was 20 years old. Though he did deny he ever watched the two do The Beast With Two Backs from the corner of the room while wearing a Speedo or remotely on a web cam as Granda alleges.  However, we still hadn't heard from Becki, despite her husband's admission of her guilt. Nor has she commented on her sidebeef's claim that she seduced him after she caught him hitting on girls his own age and told him to stop wasting his time with them, he needed a woman with "more experience," which is the first lesson they teach you right after they hand out the syllabus at Cougar School. 

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Well yesterday I promised you there'd be updates, and I'm here to see you're not let down. From the Washington Post:

His contract entitles him to a $10.5 million severance package, Falwell, 58, told The Washington Post late Tuesday — in part because he is departing from the university without being formally accused of or admitting to wrongdoing.

Falwell said he will receive $2.5 million over 24 months, equivalent to two years’ salary. He agreed not to work for a competing university during that time. After two years, he will receive around $8 million in retirement. …

He was suspended with pay early this month after posting a provocative photo on social media. Pressure for him to resign ramped up after news reports this week alleged extramarital conduct involving him and his wife, Becki Falwell.

Jerry Falwell told The Post on Tuesday that he had not been involved in an affair, but his wife had; Becki Falwell, in the same interview, confirmed that account. Falwell said he was leaving Liberty in part because he did not want his wife’s conduct to embarrass the school. But he also said he had been bored and wanted to move on. …

In a statement Tuesday, Granda accused Falwell of being a “predator,” saying he’d sent Granda an image of a female Liberty University student exposing herself at their farm.

Falwell said Granda may have been referring to an incident when he and his wife were out of town. His daughters-in-law and a friend were using the family’s guesthouse to cook a meal, Falwell said, and the friend pulled up her skirt, as a joke, while she was cooking.

The daughters-in-law were videotaping the girl, and sent screenshots around, Falwell said. “She had on, I don’t know how to say this, granny panties,” he said, saying the image wasn’t sexual.

Falwell said he sent the screenshot to several people because he thought it was funny. … 

“I grew up as a preacher’s kid and we were under a microscope,” said Falwell, who described the influence of his devout Christian mother. …

Neither of the Falwells specified with whom Becki Falwell had an affair. She described the relationship as embarrassing and humbling. “I wish Christians, and people, would be as forgiving as Christ was,” she said. …

Granda’s accusations have revived attention to claims last year by Michael Cohen, Trump’s former personal attorney and fixer, that he had intervened on Falwell’s behalf several years ago when someone was threatening to blackmail the Liberty leader by circulating embarrassing images … of him and Becki in their backyard — and Cohen spoke to the person’s lawyers and threatened to contact the FBI if the photos became public. 

“They weren’t fully nude,” Falwell said of the images. “They were just pictures of my wife. I was proud of how she looked.”

Damn. This not might be the wildest celebrity sex scandal story ever told, but you have to admit, for people who claim they're on a first name basis with the Almighty, the Falwells have way more fun than the rest of us. I mean, as far as being a Catholic goes, I'm below average. To put it in sports terms, I'm carrying a religious handicap of about 15. These two are scratch, even if you don't believe everything Pool Boy says. And yet I don't have a fraction of the sexcapades these two have enjoyed all these years. I mean, on some level, isn't religion supposed to be about not having much fun in this life so that you can get all the happiness you want in the world to come? The Falwells are getting all their pleasure in now to the point where heaven might just be kind of boring for them.

The hot wife is buttering her sexual toast on both sides. The husband may or may not be an interested spectator, but he's investing in businesses with the guy and sending him racy photos. They've got daughters-in-law recording their friend with her dress over her head and sending it around.  And Jerry Jr. is sending that plus some photos of Becki that aren't "fully nude" to whomever. Possibly to the guy who's been cucking him all along. And you can afford a lot more sinning on $10.5 million dollars. So this lifestyle will stay this wild for years to come. 

And I don't begrudge him. Just because you claim to be a man of faith doesn't mean you can't enjoy the female form and share that appreciation with others. The man who's enjoying your wife's female form in person, for instance. I could stand with a guy whose family is embarrassing the school he used to run not getting ten million bucks. But that's because I'm seeing the bills for my two sons' textbooks. And when a Spanish textbook costs more than a Gutenberg Bible, these ridiculous severance packages schools give out kind of hits home with me. But as gifted theologians like Jerry Falwell Jr. like to say, that's my cross to bear. 

Anyway, thanks for tuning in. I'm sure we'll have another thrilling, laugh-a-minute adventure tomorrow.