Live EventWe're LIVE. Sweating Big Cats 22-1 bet with Philly fans for the NFC Championship gameWatch Now
Gear Up for the Playoffs | New Football T-Shirts, Crewnecks, Hoodies and MoreSHOP NOW

Four Dastardly Dudes Detained For Shooting Compressed Air Up Their Associate’s Asshole

A Norwegian court on Tuesday jailed four young men who blasted compressed air into the rectum of an acquaintance, rejecting their defence that the act had been intended as a prank.

The victim had passed out at a party in 2018 and was unable to defend himself when five fellow revellers came up with the scheme involving an air compressor - a high-pressure tool that can be used to power anything from nail guns to spray guns.

No one loves a good goof like me. If we’re talking about the fellas who keep putting shampoo in folks’ hair at the beach or an old fashion lemon-in-a-baby’s-mouth prank, I love em all.

You know where I draw the line? Anything between the legs. If I’ve said it a thousand times, I’ve said it over a hundred times, THE ANUS IS NOT A BALLON ALTHOUGH THE HOLE CERTAINLY RESEMBLES A KNOT. It’s not.

You ever worked with an air compressor? Think about it. You can pump a car tire with one of those bad boys in 30 seconds. Your ass would be so full of gas that they’d end up calling your colon Caracas, Venezuela. Crude, I know.

Anyway, I’m glad the judge used their judicial air compressor to pump their assholes full of justice at a rapid fire pace of 120psi. Case closed even though the prankee’s Butthole might never be and that’s the real crime. Smh. Very unfair.