Yu Darvish Gets A Beef

I don't want to make this too much about me but holy shit did I need a game from Yu Darvish today. And that's putting it lightly. After 11 dogs and beers on Friday and a quality 3 mile jog last night, there isn't anything I craved more than the Cubs coming out with a big win today. And lucky for me Yu Darvish absolutely fucking dealt. But before we do that, I want to talk about my 3 mile run yesterday. 

A lot of people are saying I saved the season by going from Declans back to the South Loop last night through the middle of perceived looting threats. A lot of people are confused that a Barstool Chicago employee could lose a bet and subsequently fulfill that obligation within a calendar year. Even more are confused that my 5K time was so ripe despite a lifelong commitment to ripping cigs and gassing cold ones. 

People forget the Cubs are 1-0 since I crossed the finish line. Funny how that works when Kyle Schwarber is willing to win a game with one swing. Funny how you don't need all that offense when Yu Darvish is dealing. 

Personally I can't begin to talk about the momentum a team gets from this win. When you're at you're lowest of the lows and you got the White Sox whipping your ass and everyone selling you down the river. Then you show up and turns out everyone sucks except for the starting pitcher and Kyle Schwarber because sometimes that's how baseball goes. And they still end up flying the Win flag like pinch me that's a great fucking baseball team. 

Even more personally, I'm aware the hair bet has major odds in WSD's favor. I get that. I'm not nervous. I have zero problem cashing a checks that my mouth writes. If I have to go until the next Cubs victory against the White Sox for a haircut then so be it. If you know me then you better fucking believe we're going to have some fun with it. 

As for Yu Darvish, there's nothing better than watching him shut every hater up time and again. Even the White Sox crowd that thinks he sucks and it's a bad signing. Newsflash guys you just lived through a Yu Darvish start and you're lucky to be alive. See you degenerates in September. 

FIRST PLACE