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Have You Ever Seen A Banana Take A Shit Before?

Disclaimer: If you are a baking person that is here to say *nerd voice* "Well actually, that's how banana bread is made!!!!" you can just fuck right off and go make a carrot cake or something. This isn't the great british bake off, it's real life, bitch. 

As a person with a constantly irritated bowel, I've seen this before. You're working or whatever and you feel the slight pang in the back of your brain telling you "Hey, you're about to shit your pants, man". You put it off, thinking you can finish up a couple more things before heading to your porcelain throne. While you finish up whatever you're doing, a little smelly devil appears on your shoulder, warning that you got hot snakes running through your belly. Finally, you hit the point of no return and sprint upstairs to the good toilet (fuck the downstairs toilet, that shithole is only for piss (ironically)) and settle in for the long haul.  

Giphy Images.

You feel that eruption start and one of two things will happen. Either you fire a round of buckshot into the bowl or it slithers out like that disgusting banana above. Will this be a hot shit where you gotta take all your clothes off to get the job done? I don't know, but you have to get this venom out of you ASAP. Sound familiar? Well recalling this process is a pavlovian response that this vile tiktok forces upon me. I don't care if it makes the most delicious banana bread in the world, I could never eat something that I saw shidded out into a bowl.