Golfer Pulls a Gun on the Guys Behind Him When They Ask to Play Through
Source — A man was charged with threatening and breach of peace after he retrieved a firearm from his golf cart after being confronted about “golf etiquette” by another set of players Tuesday afternoon. The incident began around 1:30 p.m. at Stanley Golf Course when a set of players golfing behind the man’s group became annoyed at the pace of play, Capt. Thomas Steck said. “Words were exchanged about golf etiquette and playing through,” Steck said. “A man in the first group then went to his golf cart and retrieved a firearm.”
The man, whose name was unavailable because he was still being processed for arrest, then placed the gun under his clothing and pulled back his shirt to reveal the weapon in front of the second group of golfers who were complaining about their slow pace, police said. The second group immediately notified the golf shop and waited for police to arrive. Based on the description provided, several officers responded and located the man and took him into custody. He had a valid pistol permit, which was seized along with the gun, Steck said. The man was charged with second-degree threatening and breach of peace.
What’s this guy thinking bringing a gun on a golf course? That just sounds like 18 chamber Russian Roulette to me. It’s absolutely one of those places the ability to easily murder should be frowned upon. I mean, I wouldn’t wear a plastic cyanide tooth to the golf course because I’d probably just crunch it down after my 5th mulligan.
Here’s a few other places you shouldn’t carry guns but I’m pretty sure it’s technically allowed:
1) The subway
Did you know you’re allowed to carry a gun on the subway in Atlanta? First they installed urine detection systems in all the elevators and now I find out everybody’s packing heat on the trains too. As the saying goes, guns don’t kill people. People who have to pee really bad with guns kill people
2) Golf courses or driving ranges
Again, I can’t fathom why you’d want a gun on a golf course. Who are you protecting yourself from out there? The squirrels? Despite how much time you spend in the sand, you probably aren’t going to find any terrorists. Leave it in the car and not in the golf cart. Because what happens is you end up in jail for threatening the folks behind you just because they suggested that you switch to the ladies tees or let them play through.
3) Bars
I think this is just a thing in a few states like Texas but nonetheless… You know how Wyatt Earp cleaned up Tombstone? He took away the guns. And that’s what a bar is. It’s the goddamn Wild Wild West. Just a bunch of drunk assholes looking to get laid. And their main strategy for doing so is getting drunker. It doesn’t help that there’s about half as many girls who pretend they don’t like it when guys fight but secretly want guys to fight over them all the time. Just a recipe for chaos. I’ll take my normal crew of drunk idiots any day and leave Smith & Wesson at home.
And a few places you should carry guns but people usually don’t / aren’t allowed:
1) Church
We’re gonna go ahead and file this one under “technically allowed but frowned upon”. You might be asking yourself why you would need a gun at church? Well, because guns are cool and church is boring, that’s why. Last time I checked, priests have been running out of material for 2000ish years. There are fun churches out there but my pastel suit collection isn’t quite robust enough to join the fun, black church down the street. Enter guns. Now we’re spicing things up. Hear a hymn you like? Pop a round into the rafters. Did that last sermon resonate with you? Turn Jesus’s frown upside down in a stained glass shootout. Kids get 22’s and try to pop the pigeon that lives in the organ. It’s basically a carnival.
Added bonus: If a ricochet takes you out right after taking Communion, I’m pretty sure you get to go straight to heaven, no questions asked
2) Airplanes
Just one in the chamber for flights. Because everyone should have the option of putting themselves out of their own misery when a kid’s been kicking their chair for 3 hours. Also, good luck trying to hijack a plane from Dallas to Atlanta
3) NFL Draft
Favre will stay at home again and put on his own gun show
Look, we should just sort these Hernandez types out on the front end, you know what I mean? We’re talking about minimizing risk for 32 teams out there. And nobody misses on La’el Collins for being investigated for double murder if he actually double murders someone in the first round. I’m not saying we should pull the trigger for these guys or anything. I’m just saying we should give the brutal murderers a chance to out themselves before anybody makes a high draft pick commitment (lookin at you Marioto)
Bonus: Watching Roger Goodell try to get ahold of the Popemobile somehow