Celebrity Synonyms (WARNING: Dumb)

When Jeff D. Lowe first approached me to help write questions for the radio version of The Dozen, my initial thought was "No." Although, after some self reflection, my answer soon changed to "Fuck no." It's not that I didn't want to help Jeff, it's that I didn't feel like helping Jeff. When I told him that, he responded with "You can make them really dumb if you want." 

And that's all it took.

My favorite category of question I write for the show is called Celebrity Synonyms, because they require no knowledge of anything, take no skill, and they occasionally piss Jeff off, simply due to the level of stupidity. All they are is a sentence made using synonyms or homophones, that, when decoded, make the name of a celebrity. 

Below are examples of some of the synonyms that made it to the show, accompanied with some visual aides (which, phonetically, is what many people call my Photoshop skills). To show how receptive Jeff was of each one, I created the JDL Meter, ranking each synonym from Jeff to Lowe.


A Bundle of hay that believes in God

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

To burgle a home improvement store

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Not being selfish with your rock

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Steal Ernie's roommates scarlet F-150

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A baby goat looking Medusa in the eyes

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A yellow/orange group of sheep

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Hey quit repeatedly placing your index finger on my peanut butter cup"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A far-right female media pundit sketching a cartoon cat

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Being the state-certified caregiver for this Yankee great / Marilyn Monroe’s ex

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A small store on the campus of the University of Kansas

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A Spanish 2,000 pounds using Philly slang

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Mr. Schneider baked into Mr. Ferrell's sweet potatoes



.

.

.

.

.

.

.


Sorry about this