2020 Is Back At It Again, This Time With FIRE TORNADOS

Coley Mick8/16/2020 12:23 AM

First and foremost, for the love of God I hope everyone is ok and this fire tornado stays away from anything living out in Lassen County. The warning was set to end by now but you and I both know fire tornados do not play by our rules or abide by the laws of time. As long as there is air pressure and wind gusts on this planet there's always potential for a tornado as far as I'm concerned.

But to speak on the very concept of fire tornados, let me just say one thing here to the year two thousand and twenty: enough, bro. Fucking enough. Cut the shit. We get it. We have no real power or say on this planet. If you want us outta here you can get us out of here in a variety of ways. Invisible pandemic? Loud and clear. Murder hornets? Feels a tad personal, but sure, we hear you. FIRE TORNADOS??? Enough.

Remember when Diasuke Matsuzaka was coming over to the US for the first time and all you heard about was that he had 10 pitches that he could throw in any situation for an out? That's what 2020 is becoming. Fire tornados is 2020's gyro ball. Never expected it. No one's really ever seen it for certain. But if and when it ever gets broken out? Lights out. Night night. Go tuck in the baby kiss the doctor farewell. There's nothing any of us can do to attempt to thwart a fire tornado. There was one that touched down in Toyko in 1923, it promptly killed 38,000 people in FIFTEEN MINUTES. Why? For what? What is the point of a horror so twisted even existing in this or any other realm? You run of the mill, standard 'nado wasn't terrifying enough you had to toss some fire in for that extra razzle dazzle? 2020's up 458-0 in the third quarter and still has all its starters in with its foot on our neck. Enough already.