Bibliophiles on Twitter were oh-so-delighted after a man posted a picture of his home library. Twitter user @Showmik_ shared several pictures of a room stacked with books and claimed that he lives in a library.
Let's just start this whole thing with a big ole "fuck you" to books and, quite frankly, literature in general. Sure, I suppose you could trace everything back to written text but just because it was first doesn't mean it's good. It's the 21st century. There are far superior ways to consume information or enjoy a nice story. TV, Movies, YouTube, podcasts, etc etc. There's even a way to just have someone quite literally read to you.
Yet here the internet is, sucking this guy's dick because he hasn't yet discovered what a kindle is.
"But Ethan, there's nothing like a couple of fresh pages on my fingertips"
Shut the fuck up, narc. Buy a kindle like a normal person and be done with it. If you wanna keep a few spare books lying around, be my guest. But there's no point in taking up valuable space in your home with a million books. As stated before, it's 2020. We need to stop living like this is 1843 and books are the only source of knowledge and power.
For all we know, this guy had to ride several miles to even get a signal to post this picture. It's the only explanation for living with so many books. It's either that or this guy sits on tumblr all day posting cat memes, complaining about how all Movie/TV adaptions ruin everything. If you're one of those people who will talk through the entirety of a movie/show, nitpicking every little detail that differs from the book adaptation, you should be thrown in jail for a minimum of 2 years. Nobody could give a flying fuck. Now let me enjoy Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole in some fucking peace and quiet.
Damn. It's this easy, huh? Here I've been trying to muscle past my crippling awkward nature to actually talk to girls and shit - like a sucker. Apparently all I need to do is just show off my collection of books. Sadly, not many people's jaws re dropping at the sight of a bookcase filled with Goosebumps and Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. No, my fifth-grade reading level is NOT the reason for my disliking of books. I repeat, it is NOT the reason.
Now I'm caught in a sort of crossroads. On one hand, the last book I can confidently say I actually read was The Hobbit circa 2014. On the other hand, the success of this tweet by @shoumik_ makes it seem like the ladies love someone who could read books. The best route in this scenario seems to be the route that I'm more than comfortable taking; snake it till ya make it. Just post a couple of pictures of books and never actually read them.
Thank you, thank you. I'm humbled, really.
You can't convince me that's not what half of book "enthusiasts" do to seem like they know everything. It's realistically the best option, no? Minimal effort on my end with a seemingly high reward. I say this now but when I'm knee-deep in SparkNotes trying to figure out a "deeper meaning" in a book - that English teachers always went on about - just impress a girl, it won't be me who's laughing.
Who knows, maybe I just haven't found the power of books and this take is just very off base. Maybe this collection of photos showcasing his collection really is breathtaking and arousing (?). Maybe I'm just the idiot here. All I know is that I will most definitely try to make it seem like I read in a feeble attempt to seem attractive.
Sidenote - do you guys actually read books? Or are you like me and just read stuff on the internet?