Brandon McCarthy Tweets Out A Series Of His Post Surgery Thoughts

Brandon McCarthy just getting his Larry King on yesterday. Probably all hopped up on some pain killers, delirious from how uncomfortable he is, talking about how his dick looks in the bathtub to the entire internet. Just Brandon’s 2 Cents! I dont know about Brandon’s dick but I dont think I’ve ever noticed mine looking weird in the bath tub. I mean you could make the argument that one’s penis looks ridiculous at any given moment no matter what the circumstances, but I dont think I’ve ever noticed anything extra weird about bathtub dicks. I almost wanna hop in the tub and check it out. I guess I could see your dick and balls bobbing up and down like a buoy? Maybe everything lays flat? I dunno. I’m not saying hes wrong, I believe him yo. I just dont know what mine looks like in the same situation.

As far as the rest of the brain dump –

Tying someone else’s shoes is hard. You need to have it from the right angle or the whole thing is fucked up.

The callback was a true professional move.

People love to inquire how many pain pills you have left because they’re just so awesome your friends and family will just toss up a blatant Hail Mary in an effort to get some. Dont care how obvious or tactless it is, an average, regular person turns into Tyrone Biggums when they think they can just get a perc or 2 from their friend who just said “You know I dont really like how they make me feel.” or “The doctor said take them for 2 weeks but I didnt need them after 1.” Well then give them to me bro! Give me MY PRECIOUS!!!