Houston, Texas (Source) – Sara Jane Soto, a 28-year-old Houston woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly beat her common-law husband with her stiletto high-heel shoe. According to Houston police, officers were dispatched to the couple’s residence after a man called 911 and reported that he had been assaulted by his common-law wife. When officers arrived on the scene, they spoke with the victim, however the alleged suspect, Sara Soto, had already fled the scene. The victim told police that his wife came home from work intoxicated and then commenced beating him with her high-heel shoe after the couple began to argue. Soto was located at a nearby convenience store and taken into custody. She was booked into jail and charged with domestic violence assault.
You know when you reach that point on football Sundays. That point of no return. Usually it happens in the middle of the afternoon games. You’ve had a few beers, you’re feeling good, and you just say fuck it, lets get drunk, I’ll just pound a ton of water before I go to bed. But in the back of your mind you know its a bad idea. You know Monday is going to be hell on Earth. You know you’ll be hungover, probably have diarrhea and will absolutely suck at your job. That nothing good will come of your decision, yet you do it anyway.
That’s how I feel right now with Sara Jane Soto. I’m so fucking turned on by her its not even funny. I want to do weird shit with her. I want some chains. I want some whips. I want some ass play. I want to be choked. I want to choke her. Literally everything and anything she can think of. But in the back of my brain I know she’s a fucking crazy lunatic that will probably puncture my eyeball with her Jimmy Choo’s the minute one of us cums, and yet if she walked into my apartment right this second I would have to fuck her. I mean is there really a choice? She’s moderately attractive and a whole lot of crazy, which in every man’s brain means she’s extremely attractive.
And at the end of the day what’s really the worst that can happen? I go blind, wear an eyepatch for the rest of my life and everyone thinks I’m a badass? Oh no, wouldn’t want that you guys, wouldn’t want the whole world thinking I’m some cool 21st century Pirate. That sounds terrible.