The Phillies Forget How To Baseball And Their Entire Bullpen Needs To Be Aborted

Fun times at Citizen's Bank Park...NOT!!!  Amiright?!!?  What a shitshow this game was.  The bullpen, the defense, the 9 BILLION chances to win.  Just bad voodoo all around.  Let's start with the bullpen - These syphilitic stats were from BEFORE last night: 

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Now, shame on John Clark for smiting the likes of Rube Marshall and Eppa Rixey.  They at least tried on the mound in 1914. But not fixing the bullpen in the offseason is a FIREABLE offense for Matt Klentak.  I don't care if David Roberson and Seranthony Dominguez were supposed to be ready to roll, those two and Hector Neris (who for the most part is the only reliable pitcher in the pen) couldn't lead this bullpen to a championship.  And now they're stuck.  I mean, FUCK - Nick Pivetta has recorded 21 outs this year out of the pen...AND HAS GIVEN UP 25 RUNS!!!  HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!?!?  

The entire bullpen needs to go back to the uterus and do some serious thinking about whether or not they want to exist.  Not to mention shit like this doesn't help: 

Has a 3B EVER called off a 1B for a routine pop up on that side of the mound?  I'm talking in baseball history?  And, yes, it's easy to blame Rhys here, but anyone who has played baseball knows this isn't 'Nam.  There are rules.  The CF has full rule over the OF.  If the CF calls off the LF or RF in ANY situation, they get the ball.  Same goes for the SS in the infield.  SS > 2B > 3B/1B. Now I'm not sure who has the alpha call between 3B and 1B, but Rhys hearing a wildman call for the ball obviously made him think Didi or Kingrey were charging in hard. Sure, he could/should have camped under it, but WHAT THE FUCK IS JEAN DOING?!?!?  Hey, Joe, sit Segura down and watch Tom Emanski's defensive drills for the next 48 hours, please.  

Oh, and speaking of CF taking charge in the OF, sweet defensive substitution by putting Roman Quinn in the game late for Cutch. That was cute.   

This season was a wash before it started, became a flood when the Marlins forced the Phillies and their anemic bullpen to play 57 games in 56 days, and is now a certified tsunami of the plague.  But, hey, at least Bryce is still hitting dingers.  Sans batting gloves, no less!  

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Don't Ring The Damn Bell.