Chipotle Just Released Its Guacamole Recipe And The Secret Ingredients Are Not Very Impressive

Chipotle – We know that you know that guac is extra, but have you ever thought about what makes it so delicious? Well, it starts with sourcing the best whole ingredients possible, and ends with a quick mash in our restaurant. In fact, it’s so easy, we’re going to show you how to do it below.

Chipotle’s guacamole gets all the hype and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the most sold guac across America. I like Chipotle but fully recognize that it’s wildly overrated just based upon how it’s everywhere and not disgustingly awful for you but I genuinely could not be less impressed with this recipe. It’s legit just a guac you’d find on Google after two seconds searching “Mediocre guacamole recipes” (a sad yet fair SEO phrase to hone in on if you’re not an overachiever). And also I just would have never released the recipe if I were them. They should make it seem like it’s something special and amazing that our minds could never handle. Coca Cola and KFC had like two copies of their recipes locked away in a vault with Mission: Impossible lasers all over and I respect the hell out of them for it even though their foods literally have led to the crippling obesity of America. But this? C+ at best. At least tell me there’s some love or a single finger swab from a Mexican refugee in there. I just want to believe.

PS If you do this shit you’re the poorest person on Earth and I would spit and defecate directly into your food if I saw it:

Why not go to a concert and just start playing tambourine along with them? We live in a society, lady.

(via Distractify)