PFT Commenter: All Hot Dogs Are The Same Me: PREACH!!!

I don't say this often - but this was an A+, home run, touch em all, dinger of a "take". You'll notice that I put take in quotes because I'm of the opinion that it's hardly a "take" at all. It's just the stone cold truth and in an age that's consumed with nothing but fallacies and #FakeNews, it's refreshing to see someone finally speak the truth, even if it's against the grain of hive mind.

Eddie and I have had this argument for years and all of the lemmings in the twittersphere who do not have the ability to think for themselves and only follow the leader chime in. They have warped brains that cannot develop a thought on their own; it's one giant orgy that operates in hive mind. You're all lemmings! The whole lot of ya! 

I personally refuse to partake in hive mind unless I actually agree with a take or an opinion. I am not afraid to say shit that lemmings disagree with, even if I know it'll get me in internet trouble. Just go listen to the dog walk where I said I felt Denzel Washington is overrated because he attacks every role he's in the exact same way. That's a recent example of me speaking freely and honestly.

I have a similar opinion for hot dogs. To me, they're all basically the same. Denzel attacks all roles the same way, just like hot dog joints all attack making hot dogs the same. Do I like Denzel? Yes I do. Do I like hot dogs? Yes I do. Do I think Denzel is god's gift? No I don't. Do I think Gene and Jude's is god's gift? No I do not. 

They're just all basically the same. Hot dogs aren't like pizza where the variance is wild from place to place. 

Giphy Images.

It's the same damn look!!!

Now I disagree with PFT one small iota; most gas stations use pork hot dogs, and pork hot dogs are disgusting poor people trash. Beef hot dogs? Yeah those are the bomb. No denying that. I don't necessarily go out of my way to consume them all that often, but they're very good. Perfect food for a ballgame or BBQ. 

But a beef hot dog is a beef hot dog is a beef hot dog. I don't care if it's Gene and Jude's, 35th St. Red Hots, Choppers, Portillo's, or Fatso's Last Stand - I myself, the kid who can't walk and chew gum at the same time, can come at least close to making a dog that's every bit as good as the places I listed above myself. Aside from a few  intricacies that each of the hot dog joints above have that makes them different from the other, they're all within the same ballpark on a pizza scale.

Ya know how to make a Chicago dog?

- buy all beef hot dogs. Can be Nathan's, Vienna, Hebrew National, or whatever
- buy poppyseed buns
- boil the hot dog and steam the bun (optional)
- put the boiled dog on the optionally steamed bun
- put a pickle spear, a couple tomato slices, a few sport peppers on the bun with relish, mustard, diced onions, and celery salt all on top of the hot dog
- consume the hot dog 

That is literally it. I can do that myself, as can you, and it will turn out almost as good as Portillo's. Maybe even as good, since the quality of their product has nosedived in recent years. It takes zero skill and zero practice. 

This isn't me trolling. This isn't me being a hard ass. This is me speaking truthfully even though the truth is the antithesis of hive mind. To PFT Commenter - thank you for speaking freely and refusing to be a lemming.