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Guy Tries to Propose in an Apartment Full of Candles, Promptly Burns Down the Apartment

Fox News - A man in England made his fiery love for his girlfriend official by popping the question with dozens of candles, in a heartfelt display that accidentally burned down their apartment. 

Albert Ndreu recently went all-out to surprise Valerija Madevic with the big question, filling their living room with candles, 100 tea lights and 60 balloons, news agency South West News Service (SWNS) reports. The Sheffield, South Yorkshire man even spelled out “Marry me?” with flaming tea lights on the floor, coupled with a bottle of wine and a romantic playlist. 

Undeterred, Ndreu got down on one knee to propose. As sirens wailed and the smoke cleared, Madevic said, “Yes.”

The future groom explained that he had been planning the proposal for over two weeks, and had spent more than four hours setting up the space.

To be clear: Apartment fires are tragic and often turn into major disasters and we are all relieved there was no loss of life and it's not fair to blame the victims. With that disclaimer out of the way, allow me to blame the victim. 

My beef here is very obviously with Albert Ndreu, who could've easily burned down a city block and left his neighbors to burn to a crisp in their beds like the bodies they found buried by the eruption of Vesuvius. Just so that Valerjia could tell all her friends how he proposed and they could bit their lower lips and go "Awww..." because they all grew up dreaming of a Chandler/Monica style proposal:

But my problem goes far beyond one guy with a pathetic need to signal his own virtue by blowing a couple of hundred bucks at Party City on what's supposed to be a private moment. It's with every guy or woman who feels the need to do a Stunt Proposal. To take what's supposed to be an important step for two people and turn it into a big, ostentatious, elaborate and often public display. You know who you are. Douches who propose on the video scoreboard at a ballgame. The twats who do it via signs in the stands held up by friends who should know better than to agree to be part of such an embarrassment. Insipid drones who pop the question at some public event, in front of an audience or, God forbid, by hiring a plane pulling a banner. 

Seriously, blow it straight out of your ass, every one of you. I guess it's a generational thing. Easily 95% of the guys I grew up with jumped the broom at some point. And there's not one of them that went for the pretentious display. And we were better for it. Personally, I brought my then single Irish Rose with me on a comedy road trip. I booked us a room in a nice New Hampshire inn. And I can remember all the details. It was late October of 1992. I asked her in the room at 1 a.m. Right after the Blue Jays beat the Braves in the 11th inning thanks to Dave Winfield's two-run double, with Mike Timlin picking up the save by getting Otis Nixon with the tying run at 3rd. It was super romantic. Perfect, even. And worked out pretty well for us. 

But now, thanks to reckless attention whores like Albert Ndreau, it's getting impossible to simply propose anymore in a sincere, honest way. It's an arms race out there. Everyone is a One-Upper. And God help the poor slob who just asks the question without a special effects budget, set designers and stunt coordinators. I feel so strongly about this that I'm actually sorry his fiance said yes. She would've been better off taking the bad juju of that fire as the omen it is, walked out the door and blocked his number. Everyone else out there who's even thinking of doing like he did, consider yourselves forewarned.