Power Ranking the Headshots of Patriots Players in the New Uniform

Jerry Thornton8/04/2020 4:38 PM

Yesterday was an unquestioned milestone as the Patriots full squad reported for training camp, marking the official start of the unofficial part of the 2020 season. Unfortunately at this point, the team is contractually obligated to limit the on-field activities to conditioning. But fortunately, the off field activity included that special time in the lives of school kids and aspiring pro football players alike: Photo Day.

And this one was extra special, with a lot of new faces. Many of whom, along with a couple of old faces, had their hair and mustache games operating at peak levels. Here is one man's ranking of this year's crop.

10. Chase Winovich

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- Year: 2
- Position: DE
- School: Michigan
- Looks like: He's got an edibles booth at the outdoor reggae festival.

9. Will Hastings

Year: R
Position: WR
School: Auburn
Looks like: He wears a coonskin cap and a slingshot in his back pocket in a 50s sitcom about a suburban family.

8. Hjalte Froholdt

Year: 2
Position: G
School: Arkansas
Looks like: "Warrior #7" on the call sheet of a History Channel show about the Norman Conquest.

7. Brian Lewerke

Year: R
Position: QB
School: Michigan State
Looks like: "Hello. My name is Elder Lewerke. And I'd like to discuss my faith with you. …"

6. Jake Burt

Year: R
Position: TE
School: Boston College
Looks like: He was first in line to buy edibles at the reggae festival from No. 10.

5. Gunner Olszewski

Year: 2
Position: WR
School: Bemidji State
Looks like: "Things are more moderner than before… bigger, and yet smaller. It's computers… SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!"

4. Bill Murray

Year: R
Position: DL
School: William & Mary
Looks like: The barkeep in an ad for Irish Tourism

3. Dalton Keene

Year: R
Position: TE
School: VA Tech
Looks like: The guy who steals your date at a nightclub. In 1979. And drives away with her in an IROC.

2. Beau Allen

Year: 8
Position: DL
School: Wisconsin
Looks like: Peter's neighbor in "Office Space" who, if he had a million dollars, would do "two chicks at the same time."

1. Cam Newton