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Derek Jeter Fucking STINKS At Lying

For those who don't want to watch an eight minute video from the guy who is using the Marlins as some sort of money laundering front, this is the lie in question I'm here to discuss:

If you know anything about hotels, it's that they're famous for their strict "No milk" policies. It's been a key catalyst in the rise of AirBNB due to their relatively lax stance on dairy as a whole. Like HUH??? On one hand I can somewhat respect Jeter for trying to have his guys' back as the rest of the baseball world is currently furious at them. But maybe take more than six seconds thinking of a plausible excuse that people might buy. Leaving a hotel for MILK and coming back with The Rona for sure is not the lie I'm riding with. Coffee? Sure, you don't want hotel coffee you want Starbucks or Dunkin. That I can live with. MILK??? Were they knocking on their neighbors' doors for a spot of sugar, too? Just terrible.