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Which Belichick Did the Cover of Nantucket Magazine Better, Bill or Steve?

June 27, 2017:

July 31, 2020:

Oh my stars. I'm having another one of my episodes. I'm getting the vapors again. First the father and now the son. Can anyone do a magazine cover like the First Family of Nantucket? 

Goodness gracious. Clean up in aisle Jerry! And to think of all those years publications have been wasting their front covers on Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, David Beckham or whomever. It's like they never learned the lesson that sex sells. And if you want to move copies, you have one of these two dapper, swarthy, Croatian-American bohunks staring out at readers with their dreamy, soulful eyes and just wait for the panties to drop and the issues to fly off shelves. 

Nantucket Magazine had better prepare themselves for a second printing. And probably a third. They'll need cargo ships to ferry all the extra copies off the island, they'll be in such demand. How the other magazines like GQ, Men's Health or Muscle & Fitness haven't caught on to the sex appeal of the Belichick's is anybody's guess. But my guess is that after this, they'll come hat in hand, begging for a cover shoot with one of these fashion and manliness icons. If not both. 

I suppose since I have to choose, I'm still going with Belichick the Elder, the wisest and most debonair of all the Belichicks. The Silver Fox temples and that pocket square folded with the precision of his Super Bowl LIII pass protection schemes puts him over the top. And I'll take this opportunity to remind everyone that the newest Patriots safeties coach is Brian Belichick. So prepare yourself for his cover, coming in 2023 or thereabouts. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been staring at these photos for a half hour now and I think I need to go take a home pregnancy test.