I'm Sick And Tried Of Trying To Figure Out Why Something Is Trending On Twitter

I don't even know if this blog makes sense and quite frankly I don't care. I just need to get some shit off my chest about how goddamn hard it is to understand anything that's Trending on Twitter anymore. If I'm the only one then fine so be it. But honestly that seems impossible with how fucking difficult it is to figure out why something is trending right now. Just complete chaos looking for answers. 

I'll give you an example. Just this morning I find out Paul Rudd is trending. I happen to love Paul Rudd because I'm a red blooded American who likes good acting and wholesome celebrities. I go to Paul Rudd trending and scroll for what feels like an eternity and all I get is a bunch of people that are stoked to see Paul Rudd is trending/not dead. 

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It goes like this for literally dozens of good hard scrolls. Nothing but Paul Rudd celebration tweets that he's alive and well.

I'D SUCK HIS DICK - some lady

I feel like this should be illegal. Not the blowjob but the fact Twitter can't just use the word Trending then consistently sandbag me with nothing. And they're doing this more and more and more. You gotta work so fucking hard now to get to the reason something is relevant. Instead it's just reaction gifs and memes and it feels like one big 4chan circle jerk. I WANT ANSWERS GODDAMNIT. 

Again if I'm on an island here then you guys can sue me. But I'm fed up with the wild goose chase. You tell me North Korea is trending, it better be over launch codes or peace talks. 

I'm not yelling at the clouds. I'm just advocating for better technology and a more sensible way of disseminating information. I mean just imagine the people in Dubai right now as you're reading this blog. Their city is trending 12th globally and it's because this guy pretended to give his girl a trip to Dubai for her birthday, but instead gifted her a paternity test proving he's NOT THE FATHER. 

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Obviously amazing content but we can't put this on Dubai's shoulders. The whole operation is compromised when you start getting geopolitical which brings me back to the original point. I have no fucking clue what's going on in the Trending Twitter universe. I get I'm 34 going on 50 according to some of you assholes. I get I'm a little slow and lazy and predicated on convenience. But for the life of me I think the whole process of figuring out what the fuck is going on should be a lot easier and that's my two cents.