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Saquon Barkley: Confirmed Still An Alien

We take a break from the sky falling over in Baseball Land to remind you that Saquon Barkley is not of this world, and more than likely, this galaxy. You can show me unlimited videos of football players lifting weights with 100 gigantic plates on each side that wouldn't resonate with me because I wouldn't step into their gym if my kids were stranded inside of there. But jumping clean out of a pool that would take my fat ass three attempts just to get a leg up hits hard. And if I was wearing pants? I'm either getting out through the stairs after an entire waterfall cascades off my legs or I am permanently a part of your pool. You can cover me in the winter and ask me to skim during the summer. But I am officially a fixture in your pool as long as I am forced to wear those pants and sinking like the Titanic if you ask me to hold a weight*. 

Saquon? Not so much. But as the kids say, he different.

God I cannot wait to watch that man thing play running back for my football team (sorry if this take offends).

*I was being facetious with the line about sinking like the Titanic while holding weights. I am the best deadman floater on the planet and it would take an entire weight room to drown me. They don't call me the Unsinkable Clemmy Brown for nothing (they don't call me that but trust me, years of snacking have turned me into an elite floater)